The Mystery of Fitzjames Manor

©2015 Richard Humphreys

The Find-Outers visit Fitzjames Manor and are very quickly embroiled in a new mystery that has its roots in the distant past. With the help of a couple of old friends, Fatty and the Find-Outers piece together the clues and are led finally to an astonishing discovery.

Chapter 1: Together Again

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'It's for you, Master Frederick,' Jane, the house parlour maid, called up the stairs. She was standing in the hall holding the telephone receiver at arm's length as though frightened it might bite her.

'Who is it, Jane?' a voice called down cautiously.

She muttered something under her breath and drew the receiver a little closer to her ear.

'Who is it, please?' she shouted. A faint voice could be heard shouting back. 'It's Lawrence Daykin,' she called.

'Very well, I'll take it.'

Down the stairs hurtled a black Scottie dog and behind him came Frederick Algernon Trotteville, known as Fatty to his friends because of his initials, his size, and his liking for fresh macaroons and eclairs!

'Steady on, Buster, you almost bowled Jane over, then,' he said, gently scolding the excited Scottie.

Jane passed the receiver to him and wiped her hand on her apron.

Fatty smiled. 'It's all right, Jane, you won't catch anything from the telephone.'

Jane looked doubtful. 'I don't like these contraptions and never will,' she said and bustled off to the sanctuary of the kitchen.

Fatty gave a little laugh. 'Hallo Larry,' he said amiably.

'Has she gone, yet?' Larry asked.

'If you mean, who I think you mean,' Fatty replied with a sigh, 'then the answer is no.'

'But I thought she was only staying for three days,' Larry said, puzzled.

'So did I,' said Fatty gloomily, and sank into the hall chair, 'so did we all. But fate, it seems, had other plans.'

'You mean to say she's still there?' Larry said, aghast.

'Yes,' Fatty replied wiping his hand across his forehead. 'She's still here, she's still there, she's still everywhere, always under my feet. From the moment she claps eyes on me in the morning to the moment I drag myself up to bed at night exhausted after the umpteenth game of chess.'

'What's happened, then?' Larry asked, 'I mean, why hasn't she gone home?'

Fatty groaned. 'Her father has had to rush off abroad to some conference or other. As you know, he's an expert on beetles, and it seems a new species has been discovered up the Orinoco, or the Limpopo, or Timbuktoo, or some such out of the way place and he's been called there urgently and has had to leave her behind. He telephoned round to all his relatives, but rather mysteriously, it seems an epidemic of measles has broken out amongst the Tolling clan. That, or they've suddenly got builders in. So the upshot is, Mother, God bless her, offered to let Eunice stay on here for another two weeks! Two trunks full of her things have been sent down. Two trunks!' he repeated. 'I ask you, that's one trunk per week. I've no idea what she's got in them.'

'What a pity,' Larry said, dismally. 'That throws a spanner in the works.'

'It certainly does,' Fatty replied. 'A great big bossy spanner with plaits called Eunice.'

'Where is she now, then?' Larry asked.

'As far as I know,' Fatty said, 'she's helping Mother choose some curtain fabric for the drawing room. They went off to Maidenhead first thing. I thought it might be her on the phone, when you called, to let me know they were on their way back. She does that, likes to keep me informed of her every move, hoping, no doubt, that I'll reciprocate. I tell you, Larry, I'm almost at my wit's end and you know how much we were all looking forward to the Easter hols and getting our teeth into another nice juicy mystery. Well, that doesn't seem very likely now, not with the indefatigable Queen of the Amazons sticking to me like an over affectionate limpet.'

'You should have called me earlier, as she's gone out,' Larry said. 'It would have given you a break and we could have caught up with things. Pip and Bets came back from their holiday yesterday, and Daisy's dying to hear all your news, so we could have had a meeting.'

'I intended to,' Fatty said with feeling. 'But last night Dad asked me to go over some paperwork for him. Since I came top in my year in maths, he's got it into his head that I actually enjoy working with numbers and as a result is encouraging me to take an interest in his accountancy work. Double entry book-keeping is not my idea of spending an interesting morning, I can assure you, but he's been pretty generous to me lately, so I could hardly refuse.'

'I suppose not,' Larry replied. 'But look, as the coast is clear, why not jump on your bike and come over now,' he continued. 'Bring old Buster, and I'll give Pip and Bets a ring. It'll be the first time the Five Find Outers and Dog have all been together since the New Year.'

'Do you know, I think I will,' Fatty said, jumping to his feet, 'before She Who Must Be Obeyed returns. See you shortly.' He put the receiver down. 'Come on Buster, old fellow, we're off to see Larry, Daisy, Pip and Bets.'

The little Scottie jumped up and gave a yap of excitement. He loved being with all the children, especially Bets, of whom, like his master, he was particularly fond.

Fatty got his bicycle out, and with Buster trotting at his side, rode down the drive and out into the lane. It was a lovely early Spring afternoon and the hedges were full of primroses and clumps of nodding daffodils. Fatty was just thinking what a lucky boy he was to live in such a beautiful village when a dark shape wearing a policeman's helmet emerged from behind a parked van and Fatty had to swerve to avoid colliding with it.

'Why, if it isn't Constable Goon,' he said pulling up. 'Guardian of Peterswood, Protector of the Weak, Hammer of the Unrighteous, Nemesis of the......'

'What you going on about?' PC Goon snorted. 'And what do you think you're doing hurtling down this 'ere lane at that speed. You might have killed me.'

'But you're immortal, Mr Goon,' Fatty said, his voice rising in mock admiration. 'As long as there's a Peterswood, there will be a PC Goon, to blindly stumble out into the middle of this 'ere lane and nearly cause a nasty accident.'

'You're mad,' snapped Goon. 'And keep that dog away from me. I'm sick of him and I'm sick of you, Mr. Cleverclogs, Mr Nosey Parker.'

Fatty bowed his head. 'Why, thank you for the compliment, Mr Goon. I should say that being clever and inquisitive are two admirable qualities in a detective. What say you?'

Buster was dancing around the fat policeman's feet trying desperately to nip his ankles.

'Gah,' snarled Goon and retreated back behind the van. 'Clear orf, the pair of you!'

Fatty mounted his bicycle again and called to Buster. 'Come along Buster, we mustn't impede Mr. Goon in his tireless struggle against the dark forces of criminality. Besides, it's almost time for his afternoon nap.'

On arriving at Larry's, Fatty stowed his bicycle and made his way around the side of the house to the large back garden. Buster ran ahead to a pretty summerhouse that stood some way back. His volley of barks was greeted by squeals of delight, and four children emerged. There was Larry, who was the oldest of the Find Outers, being a year older than Fatty; Larry's younger sister Daisy; Pip, who was the same age as Daisy and Fatty and his little sister Bets, the youngest of the group.

'Oh, Fatty,' cried Bets flinging herself on him. 'It's so lovely to see you again.'

'Still as plump as ever,' said Pip, slapping Fatty on the back.

'You're too kind,' Fatty replied. 'Although, to be honest, I have lost just a little weight, all the stress over Eunice, I expect.'

'Well, we'll soon sort that out,' Daisy said with a laugh. 'We've got lemonade and biscuits all ready and waiting.'

'Sounds perfect,' Fatty said grandly. 'Lead on, McDaisy!'

For the next thirty minutes, the children chatted and caught up with all the news. Fatty, as usual, reduced them to tears of laughter recounting some of the mischief he'd got up to at school in the previous term. However, when he began to boast about how he had led his school rugby team to victory and been given the lead role in the school play, Larry thought it was time to bring him back down to earth with a bump.

'And so Eunice has been dumped on you, again?' he said. 'Bad luck.'

'Yes,' said Bets. 'And not just for Fatty, but for all of us.'

Fatty sighed and nibbled a chocolate biscuit thoughtfully. 'She's not a bad sort, really,' he said pensively. 'She's kind, helpful, very sensible.'

'Too sensible,' muttered Daisy. 'Boring, I call it.'

'She wants to be friendly and join in with everything. She has a strong sense of fair play,' continued Fatty. 'Mother thinks she's marvellous. And it's true, she does have many admirable qualities. It's just that...that...'

'She's too clingy,' said Pip.

'Exactly,' agreed Fatty. 'She's so incredibly, unremittingly, suffocatingly CLINGY!' He crammed the remainder of the biscuit into his mouth and washed it down with lemonade.

'Why couldn't Mr. Tolling take her with him?' Bets asked.

'Injections,' said Fatty. 'He's only recently been out to Africa and so all his were up to date. But Eunice would have needed a whole string of jabs in case she went down with a dose of beriberi or swamp fever.'

'We wish,' said Pip, unkindly.

'Well, just a mild dose,' added Bets and they all laughed.

'No, I wouldn't wish that on her,' Fatty said helping himself to another biscuit. 'Just a nice cosy head cold, something to keep her tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle for the next fortnight.'

'But even then, she'd probably expect you to sit and read to her for hours on end or play one of her interminable games of chess,' Larry said.

'Yes, more than likely,' Fatty agreed. 'I've never known anyone take so long over their chess moves. I take a book in with me now when she insists on a game so that I've got something to read whilst she's planning her strategy. I've almost finished 'War and Peace'!' The others giggled. 'So, Find Outers,' he said suddenly, perking up. 'Any mysteries in the offing?'

'We hoped you might have heard of something,' Daisy said.

'Not a sniff, I'm afraid,' Fatty said. 'And Goon's his usual slovenly self. It's obvious if something's going on because he starts dashing here, there and everywhere trying to look important.' He laughed. 'I hope he never takes to playing poker, because you can read him like a book!' He poured some more lemonade. 'I nearly ran him over earlier. Just stepped out right in front of me.'

'He can't even cross the road without making a mess of it,' Larry said. 'The biggest mystery in Peterswood, is how Goon has managed to keep his job all these years.'

They all laughed.

'Yes,' Fatty said. 'He does seem to have a wonderful knack for surviving. But life wouldn't be half as interesting for us, if our local Bobby was actually efficient. We rely on Goon to make a pigs ear of everything so that we can get a shot at solving mysteries ourselves.' He looked around at the others. 'Without Goon,' he said solemnly, 'there would be no need for the Find Outers.'

'I've never thought of it like that before,' said Daisy.

'So we have to thank Mr. Goon for giving us so much fun and excitement during our school holidays,' added Bets.

'Perhaps we should give him a present to thank him?' suggested Pip. 'A large pointed cap with a big 'D' painted on it.'

They all laughed at the thought of Mr. Goon in a Dunce's cap.

Everyone was quiet for a moment.

'Oh, I know,' said Pip suddenly. 'There's to be a big auction up at Fitzjames Manor. After her husband died last year, Lady Fitzjames has decided to give up the house and move abroad, so she's putting some of its contents up for sale. I heard Lady Candling, our next door neighbour, telling Mother about it.'

Fatty nodded. 'I know. Eunice has got hold of a catalogue of the sale. She's been going through all the lots with a fine-tooth comb.'

'What are lots?' asked Bets.

'Well,' Pip explained, 'in an auction, all the things in the sale are called lots and people bid on them and the person who bids the most wins the lot.'

'What, you mean everything?' Bets asked.

'No, just whatever lot they've bid on,' Pip said. 'Not the whole lot, silly, just the one lot.'

Bets still looked rather puzzled. 'It all sounds very confusing to me,' she said after thinking about it.

Fatty laughed. 'It all right, Bets, the English language can be a bit confusing sometimes.'

'And why has Eunice got a catalogue?' asked Daisy. 'Is she hoping to bid on something?'

'Undoubtedly,' said Fatty. 'She always seems to have plenty of money. She's after something for her father's birthday.'

'Anything in particular?' asked Larry.

'Yes,' Fatty replied. 'There's some kind of Oriental puzzle box listed and she's hoping to get that. Anyway,' he continued, 'she said she'd like to go and look at it on the viewing day, and I've been roped in to take her.' Seeing Bets' puzzled expression, Fatty explained: 'A viewing day is when the potential bidders can have a good look at all the lots before deciding whether or not to bid on them in the auction.'

'That's a lot of lots to look at,' said Pip with a sly glance at Bets.

'I think I understand,' said Bets, who didn't really, and got down on her knees to tickle Buster's tummy. 'And when is this viewing day?' she asked.

'Tomorrow,' said Fatty.

'Couldn't we all go,' suggested Larry, 'and make a day of it? There's nothing else to do, and the gardens at the hall have a maze in them. Do you remember Daisy, we went to a fete there once and you got lost in the middle of the maze and I had to go and find you?'

Daisy laughed. 'I was only about eight at the time,' she explained.

'Well, we could, but I'm afraid it'll mean you all having to put up with old Bossy Boots,' said Fatty.

'We've been in some tricky spots before,' said Larry remembering some of the adventures they had had. 'So I'm sure we can cope with Eunice for a few hours.'

'Remember the time you were locked in that caravan at the fair, Fatty, and Eunice found you?' said Bets remembering the last time Eunice had stayed in Peterswood and become involved in one of the Find Outers' mysteries. 'She was very helpful, then.'

'Although it pains me to admit it, I have to agree with you, Bets,' Fatty said nodding slowly. 'Eunice did save my bacon on that occasion.'

'I bet she's reminded you of it, too,' said Larry.

'Only about twenty of thirty times,' laughed Fatty and stood up. 'So that's decided, then. The viewing starts at eleven, so what say we meet round at Pip and Bets' at nine-thirty, that'll give us plenty of time to walk up to Fitzjames Manor.'

'Walk?' cried Larry. 'What's wrong with bikes?'

Fatty shook his head. 'Eunice doesn't have one, so it's shank's pony, I'm afraid. Let's hope the weather's fine.'

He looked at his watch. 'I'd better get back,' he said. 'They'll be home by now and Eunice will be desperate to tell me all about the thrills of Maidenhead's haberdashers.' He gave them a painful grin. 'See you tomorrow,' he said. 'Come along, Buster.'

With Buster in tow, he ambled back across the lawn.

The others watched him go.

'Poor Fatty,' said Bets.

'Yes, that Eunice has certainly got our Fatty well and truly in harness,' Daisy said shaking her head.

'Don't you believe it,' Larry said with a laugh. 'Eunice may think she's an irresistible force, but she's met her match in old Fatty.'

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